Weight Management

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 11:40:00 +0000

I am overweight because....

Here is a sample of people’s stories:

• All my family is overweight, it must be genetic.

• I am big boned; whatever I do I will always be this size.

• I love my food.

• I have no self control; I just cannot stick to a diet.

• I am lazy and I hate exercise.

• I can’t understand why I am fat, I really don’t eat that much.

• I had an operation or my health is not good.

• Since I had the children I have no time for myself.

I’m sure from a wise observer position, you can think of a counter argument to every one of these stories. For this is exactly what they are, stories, which whilst they are in place, protect us from discovering the truth and keep us the same unhappy overweight position. However, when you are ‘in’ the story it is very difficult to get a broader perspective. It feels like it IS THE TRUTH, rather than a perspective adopted to serve us in some way.

Mary had been a size 14, give or take, most of her adult life. However in the last few years her weight had been rapidly increasing and she had put on almost 5 stone in weight. Mary was in despair, she told her work colleagues, ‘I just don’t understand, I hardly eat anything, maybe it’s because I’m not eating enough’.

From an observer’s point of view, her work colleagues knew this was not the case, but when they gently tried to broach the subject, they got instantly shot down in flames. And so the denial continued. Mary really knew the truth, but it was too painful to face, and so she buried it in self denial which was easier to live with on a day to day basis.

I then encouraged Mary to keep a food diary so she would be able to analyse exactly where she needed to increase or maybe even decrease her eating. Mary’s diary looked a bit like this

Breakfast - Bowl of cornflakes

Mid morning snack - Toast in the canteen

Late lunch - Sandwiches, salad, yoghurt

All sounding ok so far, then....

Afternoon - Big box of mixed donuts for all staff – 2 with a cup of tea, chocolate biscuits, sweets throughout the afternoon

Late evening Meal - Fish and chips on the way home, no time to cook, bottle of wine, big bowl of tiramisu

Cheese and biscuits before bed.

Mary was stunned! She really didn’t realise that she had been grazing on sugary snacks all afternoon and then continued to munch through the evening. Mary cried when she saw the reality. But that crying was a real break through, a dawning of the present situation. When Mary felt ready to accept the present, she could then decide how to approach the next day, and the next and the next...

There is no judgement, no recriminations or self flogging! No right or wrong. When we truly accept the situation for what it is now, then the path starts to clear, the weeds fall by the wayside and we can begin to forge a pathway which serves us for our highest good.

THAT NAGGING HEAD HUNGER

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:45:00 +0000

Does Mrs Doyle from Father Ted live in your head where food is concerned?!

You are sitting in front of the tele and it’s late evening. And then your mind starts chirping,

‘There’s those nice chocolates in the cupboard that you were saving for when the family came to visit for next week. They won’t miss one or two... go on, have one...go on, you’ll be fine... just think how nice they taste, ahhhhh go on..... go on go on go on go on go on!’

So you succumb, and sit there guilty munching on a couple of rich creamy chocolates.

But does it end there?

Oooooh no, then the other thoughts creep in,

‘You shouldn’t have eaten them, what will the family think when they see a couple missing, they’ll think I’m a greedy pig with no self restraint. No wonder I can’t lose weight when I have no self control. Well, I’ve blown it now, I might as well finish the box and start my diet again on Monday’.

Oh the denial – binge cycle is so painful and damaging to our self perception. It never ends in peaceful thoughts, but self loathing and criticism.

Next time Mrs Doyle pops up, here are a couple of things to try:

USE THE HUNGER SCALE

On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being starving and 10 being stuffed) how PHYSICALLY hungry am I?

If you are physically hungry, ask is this the type of food which will satisfy my hunger? If yes, eat it slowly and enjoy it without guilt. Physical hunger means your body needs fuel and so you do not need to feel ashamed of what you eat. Make sure you eat slowly enough so you enjoy it and to know to stop when you are physically full.

NOT PHYSICAL HUNGER

You have a couple of options here:

You can say I am not physically hungry, so my body does not need the fuel, and I do not need to eat. Sit quietly, close your eyes and ask your craving, ‘what message do you want to give me?’ Receive an answer in your head, without any judgement, just accept whatever comes and tell the craving you got that message.

E.g. the message may be, I’m lonely and I want a bit of comfort, I’m anxious and I’m trying to distract myself, I’m bored and need something to do, I’m angry, I’m sad etc.

Now you know what you are really dealing with, and that non-physical hunger is not about food.

You can say out loud ‘I am not physically hungry but I choose to eat this anyway’. See if this statement and taking full responsibility lessens your craving.

Time to ask Mrs Doyle and her tea trolley to make a swift exit. Remember, it is your body which you fuel with good quality food in the correct amounts when it gives you the physical hunger symptoms, not your nagging mind! Give it a try.... ahhhh go on!

THE DIET STARTS MONDAY...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:20:00 +0000

Right, new year, new me!

The diet starts now...

Well actually there’s still that tin of Christmas choccies Aunty Vi gave us, and those nice M&S biscuits, those all sorted nuts and some other goodies in the house. So I’ll have to eat them first, as it’s a waste not to (starving people in Africa and all that!) and then I can start my New Year Diet next week. Mind you it’s always best to start a diet on a Monday, start of the new week, apparently that’s when you are most motivated. I read the most successful diets ALWAYS start on a Monday. I won’t have finished all the food in a few days, so I’ll have to start a week on Monday then.

Right that’s it, it’s official, the New Year’s Diet starts a week on Monday. Oh damn, I’ve just looked at the diary, and there is a Team Building week for work in a really posh hotel, and I can’t be on a diet with all that lovely food around and everyone else chomping merrily away. That’s fine; I’ll start my New Year’s Diet two weeks on Monday. That’s sorted then.

Ok, I want to look good on my holidays in July. I want to wear a spangly bikini and look fantastic, slim and gorgeous; with no wobbly bits when I do my Bay Watch run along the beach! If I lose ½ stone each month for 6 months, it’s achievable. Oooh how exciting, can’t wait for sunning myself in July, I’m going to be such a Goddess! Seeing as I’m going to be so deprived for the next 6 months and eating lettuce leaves , rivita and cottage cheese, I better make the most of the next couple of weeks, before the ‘Diet to End All Diets’ starts... now where did I put that giant Toblerone?

Sound familiar?!

And then how long did the 6 month diet actually last???

Ummm... how about, New Year, New Approach?

• Right now I am tuning into my body’s hunger signals.

• Right now I choose to eat if my body is physically hungry (not when it is bored or stressed or tired etc).

• Right now I stop eating when my body is physically full (not when the packet or the plate is empty).

• Right now I ignore the mental chatter in my head about ‘goodies in the cupboard’ begging to be eaten. I feed my body, not my mind.

• Right now I choose to eat what my body indicates in needs to eat (not what the diet industry tells me I should or should not eat).

• Right now I choose to move my body more in a way that is natural or enjoyable (not some fad mad cap gung-ho routine)

I realise my life is now... now... now and now. Not two weeks on Monday!

TIME TO MAKE PEACE WITH FOOD

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:15:00 +0000

Today’s date is truly unique - 11.11.11 – it’s the only date where all the same digits appear. It’s being marked as a day of truth, love and peace in the World. Coupled with the occurrence of remembrance and Armistice Day, this is an auspicious day for quiet reflection and inspirational change.

At the start of all the, ‘Why Are You Eating? Programmes’, I listen to participants’ stories of how food affects their lives... totally.

• I can’t just have one biscuit; I have to eat every biscuit until the packet is gone.

• I fight with myself inside my head - you can’t have anymore... but I want one, I’m going to have one... no you’re not... yes I am.

• Whilst I am eating my dinner, I am planning what I am having for my pudding.

• When I am on a diet, I don’t want to go out as I can’t eat what everyone else is, it’s not fair.

• Most of my thoughts are filled with food, and what I am allowed to eat and what I am not.

• By the end of the course, peace has been made with food and all consuming thoughts are dropped.

So how is peace achieved?

INTUITIVE EATING

When we understand how clever and sophisticated our body really is, and we start to listen to it more and more, the struggle with food drops away. Our body gives us very distinct messages that it needs fuel, and also what sort of fuel it needs for optimum energy. By tuning into these physical hunger symptoms we can accurately assess how much to eat and what to eat.

HAVING NO RULES

When we place strict rules on what we should and shouldn’t eat (usually influenced by diets and the dieting industry), the battle begins! There is no middle line, you’re either being ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And the warring between the two states rages on a daily basis. E.g. I will not eat chocolate for 2 weeks. Day I and 2, I’ve been really good, not a morsel of chocolate has passed my lips. Day 3.... oooh, I really fancy chocolate, but I’m not allowed... ummmmh, chocolate, NO! Just a bit will be fine. NO, I’m being good. Oh, go on......’ Sound familiar?!

When there are no rules, there is nothing to battle against or break. But, I can hear you say, I’ll eat everything in sight! Not if you are listening to what your body is saying and when it is hungry, rather than your pesky mind playing tricks on you.

DE-LABELING FOOD

We have been told by the Government, family, friends, the diet industry etc what foods are ‘good’ and what are ‘bad’. So when we are stressed, tired, anxious, lonely, sad, angry etc and we grab for food to comfort or distract us, we are tempted more by the ‘bad’ food rather than the ‘good’.

‘I am so stressed out, I am going to eat that lettuce leaf, that will show them!’

When you take the labels off food, and see all food as equal, then you will not rebel by eating ‘bad’ foods.

These are just three ways for peace to be gained with food. It is very possible to see food as a fuel to provide your body with the energy it needs, but to also relish, savour and enjoy this food at the same time. Food then becomes an enjoyable pleasure in proportion to your life, rather than a constant nagging voice in your head.

Make today the day you start your journey to find peace with food. May peace be with you always.

UNLIMITED CHOICES

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:40:00 +0000

My Children usually come in from school and utter, ‘I’m starrrrrrving, what can I have mum?’

To which I frequently reply, ‘What do you fancy? Have a look in the kitchen’.

As far as possible, I try to get them to assess what their body needs to eat. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few ‘unspoken’ rules by which the family abides – e.g. sweets and chocolates are for after meals, thank-you to our lovely old dentist who explained to the children about sugar and tooth decay. Also, the maximum of one bag of crisps a day, as they know too much salt is not good for their heart. However, apart from that, the world’s their oyster, so to speak!

I watched my daughter (age 6) yesterday... she trotted off into the kitchen, got a small bowl out and filled them with Pringles. After happily munching her way through, she asked what she could have next. I refrained (it was hard, I must admit) from saying, ‘something healthy, as Pringles has as much nutritional value as a beer mat, and have you seen the Youtube video where they set light to Pringles and the fat content keeps them burning for ages’ and said, ‘see what’s in the kitchen’.

She came back with a juicy tangerine, and enjoyed it so much she asked for another. Her final piece de resistance was, going back into the kitchen for the last time and coming back with a crisp apple, which she preceded to merrily crunch. Wow! I was so impressed. This truly was intuitive eating. She was choosing what she wanted to and enjoyed every mouthful. Any comments or judgements from me, would have only swayed her to look for external cues to what to eat, rather than the natural internal cues from her own body. Good Girl!

When we truly listen to the fuel our bodies are asking for, rather than all the mixed signals from the media, family, friends, peers, slimming clubs, the diet industry; then we can really relish and enjoy our eating, free from guilt, and watch our weight stabilise.

Just for today... I listen purely to my own body’s wishes and wisdom, not the external wishes of well meaning others.

Moi? A Chocolate Snob?

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 15:35:00 +0000

So, it’s no secret that one of my most favourite foods is chocolate.... ummmmmh.

As a child, any chocolate would do... funky animal chocolate bars, creamy Caramacs, chunky Yorkies, which were most definitely for little girls in my opinion!

However, after embarking on my intuitive eating programme, and listening to my body, I found that the cheaper quality chocolate was starting to make me feel a bit sick. Too much milk and other processed fat, and not enough cocoa bean. So I then converted to the darker varieties of chocolate. And oh did that hit the spot! Smaller quantities of more intense flavour, which you could really savour and taste as it melted in the mouth. Green and Blacks Cherry became a particular favourite, along with Lindt Orange and Almond (I’m not being sponsored by the way, but I am open to offers!).

I started to become a real chocolate snob, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t eat THAT sort of chocolate, I prefer dark intense chocolate’! I was becoming worse than a reformed smoker!

But, just as when you up grade your car or mobile to a better make and model, you find it very irritating to deal with any less... I was then introduced by my mum (thanks mum) to Hotel Chocolat. Oh, the chocolate is to die for, the quality and texture is the most dreamiest of dreamiest that ever a dreamy thing could find! I’m in a frenzy of excitement and dilemma, when I paw my way round the Trafford Centre shop, hot footed by my 6 year old daughter who is also in ecstasy! The drool forms rivulets as I umm and err over salted caramels, or pralines or Eton Mess or......

However, this addiction does not come cheaply! Damn, why have I forsaken good old Cadbury’s? Please no one introduce me to anything more superior for fear of my bank account being quickly depleted!

AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:12:00 +0000

AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE

(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)

You've got to accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

Latch on to the affirmative

Don't mess with Mister In-Between

Have you all got the tune in your head now?! Hopefully! Here’s your prescription... I would like you to sing this to yourself, or annoy your family and friends and sing it aloud, at least once a day.

The last few weeks have been a dental nightmare for my 8 year old son. He has been getting tooth ache and abscesses from his wobbly teeth. 2 weeks ago, saw him being traumatised in the dentist chair when the Dentist yanked out a tooth, with very little warning. The Dentist then whispered to me that he would have to have the same done to the next tooth along. The night before the procedure I worried and fretted about how my son would react when I told him... and when I did... how I would get him to willingly co-operate and sit in that chair to go through the teeth pulling all again! I tossed and turning growling to myself about how the Dentist had really poor rapport with children, and if only he had better communication skills, Finn would not be so terrified. After about half an hour of mindless head ranting, it suddenly dawned on me, that I cannot change other people to suit the situation, and that I could not wave a magic wand to suddenly make the Dentist human! The only thing I could do was positively plan how I would manage the situation. So I hatched a plan:

• Talk Finn through the procedure. Explain exactly what was going to happen and what to expect.

• Take his favourite cuddly toy as a comfort and to grip on to.

• Take his DS to play in the waiting room to distract him.

• Tell him a story whilst he was having the procedure done to take his mind off it

• Offer a bribe for good behaviour! The new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

Well, I can’t say that it was pleasant, but Finn was fantastic and very brave.

So this got me thinking to losing weight. For years and years I ranted and raved about how unfair that it was that I was fat. My rants went something like this...

‘It’s just not fair.... So and so eats whatever they like, and they are really skinny, I only have to look at a bag of chips and my bum grows another 2 inches!’

‘I must have a slower metabolism than everyone else, why me?’

‘Why can’t I eat chocolate and not put on weight like her?’

On and on and on, chunnering away! This was all negative musings, and not surprisingly I did not lose any weight long term.

It was only when I stopped looking at how unfair the rest of the slim world was, and started to investigate what realistic positive steps I could take, that I started taking control of my weight. This is when I decided:

• To listen to my body and not the diet industry

• To eat when I was PHYSICALLY hungry and stop when I was PHYSICALLY full

• To mentally taste what sort of food would satisfy me at that precise moment in time

• To naturally increase my activity levels and incorporate it into my every day routine

Through taking control and stop beating myself up, the weight gradually came off and stayed off.

So if you too are trapped in the cycle of negativity and how unfair things seem... it’s time to step off and decide what positive steps you can take to weight loss.

Remember... accentuate the positive!

Take the Middle Road to Slimness

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:22:00 +0000

Now I don’t usually talk about calories, but just for you, I’ll make an exception!

It is recommended that for an average (?) person, the following calorie intake is needed in a day:

Women approximately 2000 calories

Men approximately 2500 calories

The sun is beginning to make an appearance, the summer holidays are tantalizingly close, and the thought of how stunning you are going to look on the beach crosses your perplexed mind – arrrrrh! How to shift some troublesome tummy, thunderous thighs and bulbous behind – all in 4 weeks???

Often people slash their calorie intake dramatically, which can lead to you feeling faint, grumpy and darn hungry – and a bit of weight loss. Then out of sheer frustration, there is the all out binge, leaving you feeling guilty, bloated and having put the weight back on. Our bodies feel very uncomfortable when we eat far too many or far too few calories.

Brian Wansink in the book ‘Mindless Eating’, recommends trying to eat 100 – 200 fewer calories a day, every day. Our bodies certainly do not miss or even notice these calories, and it is a sustainable way to lose weight long term. He states, ‘It takes 3500 extra calories to equal one pound. It doesn’t matter if we eat these extra 3500 calories in one week or gradually over an entire year. They’ll all add up to a pound. This is the danger of creeping calories. Just 10 extra calories a day – one stick of double mind gum - will make you a pound more portly one year from today’.

In reading that, it seems everything you eat, adds to your overall weight over time. Far from being depressing news, this could work in your favour! By making small painless changes, you can gradually change the way you look and how much you weigh.

EXAMPLE

1 less 82 calorie shortbread finger a day with mid afternoon cuppa = 8.2 fewer pounds a year

1 small glass of white wine rather than a large glass = 10 fewer pounds a year

1 less 408 calorie cheeseburger a day = 40.8 fewer pounds a year

Although this method will not help you lose a stone in the next month for you to be a beach babe, it will effortless help you lose it over the year – and with a lot less pain into the bargain!

CHALLENGE

Decide what item you would like to cut out. This needs to be things which you don’t mind missing out e.g. go from semi skimmed to skimmed milk, no sugar in your tea, have skinny cappuccinos rather than full fat, have one less chocolate or biscuit than normal.

Implement the change and monitor how you get on. When this becomes your new habit, see if there are any more items you could exclude. Only make one change at a time. Too many changes will get you all confused and you will be cutting out too many calories, resulting in you starting to feel you are on a diet again – and we can’t have that! Maybe challenge yourself to trying one item a week for a month. Remember, all the little changes soon add up – good luck!

DO YOU FEED YOU MIND OR YOUR BODY?

Wed, 18 May 2011 13:37:00 +0000

Ok, so here are my GCSE Biology question for you:

You drop something reeeally heavy on your toe, do you:

a) Feel intense pain, howl and grab your toe, uttering a few swear words
b) Ignore your body signs and think, ‘pull yourself together, it’s only a toe, I’ve got 9 more where they came from!’

It gets to 3 in the morning and you have yet to go to bed, do you:

a) Yawn, feel your eyes start to close, notice your concentration is all to pot, feel your limbs are heavy and tired, and start to fall asleep.
b) Ignore all your body signs and say,’ I just need to push on and do a few more things before I go to bed.’

A huge box of all sorted deluxe biscuits has just arrived in the office, do you:

a) Tune into your stomach, feel that at the moment it is about 80% full, as you had lunch only an hour ago, and so decline a biscuit for now.
b) Ignore your body signs of fullness and go ‘wahooo, my favourite biscuits, I’ll have that one, that one and that one’.

How did you do?

Mainly A’s – you understand that your body is a well oiled machine. When we ‘tune-in’ to its messages, it informs us of the optimal way to look after it and treat it.

Mainly Bs – your mind rules the roost. Your mind can easily block out subtle messages from your body. Start to feel your body’s messages, and this will lead you on the road to intuitive eating and no more bruised toes!

TOP TIPS FOR INTUITIVE EATING

1. Your body has the answers to whether you are physically hungry. Every time you go to eat, ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being starving, 10 being full) how hungry are you. If it is above 7, your body is indicating that it does not need any more fuel. IF you are still adamant that you are going to eat something, say out loud, ‘I am not physically hungry, but I am going to eat this anyway.’ See what affect this has on your decision now.

2. Ask yourself what sort of thing you would like to eat? Sweet or savoury, hot or cold, filling or just a snack, spicy or plain, rich or bland, fruity, creamy.... the list goes on! Mentally taste some options on your tongue and then in your stomach. How will you feel 30 minutes after eating it? When you eat food, it is something that should be really tasted, enjoyed and savoured – so make sure you choose something which your body really wants and needs. One time this may be salmon, the next it could be strawberries.

3. Truly tune into what your body would like to eat, and throw away the diet sheets which rule your mind. Let your body make the decisions not your mind.

SURVIVING THE EASTER CHOCOLATE MOUNTAIN!

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 17:59:00 +0000

As a child I loved Easter so much. To me it meant Spring, lighter days to play out in the street and best of all chocolate - mountains of it! I remember asking my mum one Autumn when Easter was, to which she replied 'After Christmas'. On Boxing Day I asked, 'Is it Easter now?'

Will you have lots of chocolate 'hanging around' the house over the next few weeks? Remember, our minds can insist we are hungry when they spy something to eat, even when are body knows it is not physically hungry. Here are some suggestions for your waist line to survive over Easter:

Put Easter eggs away in a cupboard that you do not go into very often. DO NOT leave them out in full view, or the little voices in your head will start to torment you every time you see them!
Say this statement out loud before you eat the chocolate when you are not physcially hungry, 'I am not hungry, but I am going to eat this Easter Egg anyway'.
Go and do something to distract yourself for 5 minutes - hopefully the craving will pass.
Ask for dark chocolate eggs - these are more difficult to over indulge in.
Give spare Easter eggs to children's homes, hospitals etc.

Enjoy your Easter break.
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